Holy Mackerel

~click to make biggerer~

My husband, Quiet Vinnie (who is Irish and German [not Italian] and the reason why beer is a huge part of our home budget) turned 50 this summer.


I showed my love for him by letting everyone know he’s ancient. He did not care for the 50 fish in our front yard. He said it was because he was worried about our lawn irrigation system. He said the metal posts could puncture water hoses in the ground. I didn’t buy it. I think he was mad because so many people finally knew for sure that he’s a cranky old man, and not just cranky. Oh, I kid. Well, maybe not. Since QV thinks the internet is evil and never goes online, I can say anything I want about him. Cool, huh? It’s actually a shame he doesn’t blog because he’s very funny but he IS ancient, as I said, so he mistrusts all this new fangled stuff. He’s been telling “When I was a kid…” stories for 20 years already.


We had a big party for him on one of the hottest days of the year (99.7 degrees.) We were surprised that so many people showed up and then stayed as long as they did. The party began at 2 pm and ended at 1:30 am. I haven’t stayed up until 1:30 in the morning on purpose in forever. I felt like crap the next day.


We have a house designed for parties. In the back yard, we have a big bar that is covered. It has two ceiling fans. The trees are very mature (like QV – giggle, giggle) that shade our stone patio thus reducing the temperature in the back by about 10 degrees. There is an outhouse with running water. And a pool. This is where the trouble began and the inspiration for my floor show.


The kids went in and out of the pool and in and out of the house the way kids do. The floors in the kitchen are stone tiles. Combine these circumstances with my smooth soled flip flops and me rushing around like the most excellent hostess that I am and you get a big bang to rival the the original version. Good thing I take my calcium regularly and my ass is well padded.


I didn’t even know I hurt my elbow until some nice person pointed it out to me during the humiliating aftermath. The picture from yesterday’s post was taken the next day. It looked much worse as the days went by: the blues, greens and blacks spread all around and up and down my arm. The swelling was impressive. I still can’t straighten my arm all the way which helps me get out of housework, so I am happy.


That’s the story of how I became damaged goods.

I am ok. Nothing broken. I thank you all for your concern. And I thank you all for continuing to visit even though I disappear off and on. You all are the bestest ever!

5th Sister – Yes. I was completely sober. I know that is just wrong which was why I was punished by going boom on my bum.

Brian Miller – I was going to get more snacks for the people who were drinking. It was over before I knew it. The thing that got hurt the most was my pride.

Jeanie - I made a very loud noise when I hit the floor.

Thom – I was so busy I never made it to the Woo-woo’s. That was the problem.

Alice Audrey – I wasn’t feeling klutzy until afterwards but I will do anything to entertain my guests.

Quilly – The writing is going slower than I had planned. I am behind schedule. I am about half way through the first book.