Wreath

Longwood Gardens, PA

December 30, 2007

Photograph copyright Vanessa V. Kilmer

I Love Wild Onions

Tom from the wonderful Tom & Icy duo at Icy's Playground makes video's that parody things he finds on friends' blogs. He tickles my funny bone. He recently made a video of my story Divine Death (I think as a way to get me back to working on it, lazy bum that I am.) Please go take a look at his rendition of Nessa's Story. You will laugh out loud. I promise.

Gone Fishing

Jethro, he was a bounder.
Candy, he sniffed around her.
A two legged dish,
she was his great wish,
even though she smelled of flounder.

Tattoo

I swore I would never get a tattoo. I lied...again. Never says never. A tattoo just seemed like something I really needed for my fiftieth birthday. I drew the design. I knew what I wanted. It had to be a butterfly, of course.
I went to Luck of the Draw in Millville, NJ, where my SIL got all of his tattoos. He has many. Here are the pictures of mine.





It is on the inside of my left arm near the crook of the elbow.

My daughter received her first tattoo, also. Her's is my logo and her birth date as my copyright because she is my greatest creation.

Warm Memory

On a hot, humid day in August, all of the children in a generic Levittown neighborhood ran up and down the street playing kickball. The ball escaped the macadam playing field and rolled into the yard of the angry old man in the brown house.

A caucus ensued to determine if the ball should be retrieved in a hit and run maneuver, complete with distractions and decoys or if a sacrificial lamb should be chosen to ask for the return of the ball.

Before a plan could be agreed upon, grouchy faced grandpa tramped out his front door dressed in his yellowed boxers, black knee high socks and tennis shoes. His shirtless belly hung over the loose elastic waistband of his underpants. His combed over hair lay across his scalp in dark, greasy furrows. He scooped up the ball, yelled something obscene in a drunken slur and weaved back to his house, his butt crack waving good-bye.

The kids sat in a line on the round curb like birds resting on a phone wire. Indignity, outrage and plans for revenge increased the ambient temperature. No one went home. Outside meant freedom from prying parental eyes and tedious chores. They decided to play hide and seek until the nice lady came home and returned their ball.

The hiders hid and the counter counted. Right around fifty-nine, the truck rounded the corner. Squeals and laughter, excited calls and feet pounded pavement energized the air. The diesel pickup shot clouds of thick mosquito killing spray from the tank mounted in its bed. The children ran down the street enveloped in the enchanted brume: fumes breathed deep into lungs, eyes burned, nose hairs singed and skin irritated. They frolicked in the foggy fairyland between Avalon and Glastonbury.

Cold Morning

Harsh wind blows branches,
first snow falls from breaking boughs;
rock-a-bye baby.

Sanguine Sunset

Woo Hoo - 50,048

* * * Update * * *
Thanks for your congratulations and for continuing to visit despite the weeds, dust bunnies and cobwebs.

I will post this year's rough draft by this weekend, hopefully.

Update - Just Like the Elections

Go Vote!

Thanks everyone for your birthday wishes and yes, I just turned 50.

I got a tattoo for my birthday. I designed it myself. Guess what it is? I will post a picture of it as soon as I get my head out of my ..., you know.

I am participating in this year's
NaNoWriMo. So far I have passed the daily word count goal of 1,667 to reach 50 thou' by November 30th. I wrote a brief outline and character sketch this year and they have helped tremendously. Total word count as of last night was 5,572.

Thanks to those of you who still stop by. Eventually, I'll get back into the blog reading and writing habit.

Happy Birthday To Me!

I am nifty.

Answered Prayers

Earlier this year, I lamented the lack of excitement in my life, whining over my boredom, complaining of the deep rut I traversed. The universe, as it always does, granted my wish and smacked me upside the head. Once again, I took time off to learn my lessons. I hope this finds you all well and I will start the visiting rounds soon.

Kat, I am gearing up for this year's NaNoWriMo. I will actually do a story outline this year.

You can also find me at Facebook.

Fantasy Island

I spent this past weekend with my daughter at the PA Renaissance Faire. Mother Nature gifted us with beautiful weather, except for those 30 minutes of pouring rain on Sunday afternoon. We saw our favorite group The Tartan Terrors. We bought all kinds of fun things we don't need like masks and fans and knives. We had two great days of make-believe.

Wordless Wednesday Wideo

"Fun Cody"
Video Copyright 7-19-08 by Vanessa V. Kilmer
(No sound, 17.53 seconds.)
WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Daybreak

DAYBREAK

Bathing in sunlight
joyous estivation
humid, green, fecund.

Photograph and Haiku Copyright July 2008 by Vanessa V. Kilmer

Happy Birthday, QV

My husband, known here and at various drinking establishments as Quiet Vinnie (QV), has a Birthday today. Can you tell how old he is?

Off to See the Wizard

Time for our annual family reunion. No internet access unless I can manage to check out the local library. I leave you with some images from last year's trip.

All photographs Copyright 2007 by Vanessa V. Kilmer

Wordless Wednesday

"Fireworks" Woodstown, NJ (53 seconds)
Video Copyright July 5, 2008 by Vanessa V. Kilmer

Wordless Wednesday

Just Dune It

"Dunes" Island Beach State Park, NJ
Photograph Copyright 2007 by Vanessa V. Kilmer

"Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits."
– Thomas A. Edison

Last week, as I congratulated myself on completing my errands in record time after work, including a trip to the grocery store, I peacefully approached the street where I live. Unusually, there was little traffic, with the exception of a pickup truck just in front of me and an SUV leaving the parking lot of the new daycare center on the corner.

"Yo, Bubba," I said to myself (yes, that's how I talk in my head,) "there's no way in hell you are making that left hand turn going fifty miles an hour."

I shook my head in disgust as I watched the pickup veer left at an excessive rate of speed.

“Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit…” I eloquently began to chant.

“Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit…”

I watched in amazement as the truck crossed the two southbound lanes, jumped the curb, took out a metal sign and chopped into a wooden electric pole with the passenger side of the truck, continued on the newly turfed grass, drove straight between the daycare sign and the corner stop sign, crossed the street and ran headlong into the side of the church sitting on the far corner of my street.

“Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit…” as I stopped in the road and fumbled for my hazard lights.

“Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit…” as I clumsily dialed 911.

I babbled semi-incoherently to the dispatcher but managed to get out the information about what happened and where. Within seconds, several patrol cars, an ambulance, EMT’s and three fire trucks arrived.

My daughter is an EMT and firefighter in town and takes the pictures at scenes, so when she heard the location, she was concerned. When she arrived, she saw my car in the middle of the road and she came running.

My husband heard the impact of the crash and went to the front yard to see what was up. The neighbors told him there was an accident at the corner and my car was stopped in the middle of the street. He threw his beer can into the driveway (he always has a beer can in his hand, just ask my mother) and came running.

I assured everyone I was ok. I tracked down the proper police person and gave a statement, then asked if I could go home to put my no-longer-frozen vegetables away.

The man (a neighbor from the next street over who went to high school with my daughter) walked away from the accident with minor injures. He smashed his father’s pickup to smithereens. The church has a huge hole in the wall.

I didn’t take any pictures.

Numb

Photograph Copyright 2008 by Vanessa V. Kilmer

I saw this at Peacock Blue and it's the best I can do.

Monday Unconcious Mutterings #285 (word association)

1. Intimated :: Whispered
2. Brush :: teeth
3. Masquerade :: hide
4. Procedure :: surgury
5. Tattoos :: raindrops
6. Square :: peg
7. Tuck :: Nip
8. Boyfriend :: Shhh
9. Badass :: Droopy
10. Thousand :: Years War

Carrion

"Turkey Buzzards" Woodstown, New Jersey 20080704
Photograph Copyright 2008 Vanessa V. Kilmer

I lost my internet connection Friday morning and just got it back yesterday. My splitter shorts out.

Delayed Gratification

"Independence Hall" Philadelphia, PA 07-07-07
Copyright 2007 Vanessa V. Kilmer

We postponed leaving for the campground until tomorrow.
Let the celebrations begin.

Happy Independence Day!

Wordless Wednesday

Photograph Copyright 2007 Vanessa V. Kilmer

Lucky Limerick

"Bunny Fred"

There once was a bunny named Fred
Who sprang early out of his bed
He was no lame duck
With a foot full of luck
Rabbit, rabbit, is what he said.

Photograph & Limerick 07/01/2008
Copyright 2008 Vanessa V. Kilmer

No Stopping Any Time

"No Stopping Any Time"
Philadelphia, PA 07-07-07
Copyright 2007 Vanessa V. Kilmer

I took this from a tour bus with full zoom.
Life imitating a display window.

Drunken Sailor

"Tugboat"
Delaware River, Philadelphia, PA 07-07-07

Copyright 2007 Vanessa V. Kilmer

I wrote the following rhyme in response to a rhyme written by David McMahon. He has a little feature he calls "Verse and Worse" where it has become commonplace to comment in rhyme. He also has lots of hints and suggestions on photography, writing and looking at the world in new ways.

SAILOR
I went and took
a nice long look
and what did I see
when I glanced at the sea?
In a sinking boat,
barely afloat,
a scurvy sailor
who was more of a bailer.

Goldennib's Garden

I want a new job, but I want a completely different one. At first I thought I would just go to a different company, but there's no point in that. Most of my current job is ok: good pay, close to home, I know the work, I like the people and I have some clout after eleven years. I took the time to update my resume'. I got my professional certification. But, I want something totally different. I want to follow my heart's desire.

Sunrise

Sunrise on the first day of Summer.

Hop, Skip and Jump

I saw the sunrise at the beach for the first day of summer Saturday morning.

I harvested rosemary and lavender on the night of the Honey/Strawberry Moon last Wednesday, hanging the stems to dry on the front porch. I put up a pot of strawberry schnapps, too. It will be ready for bottling at the beginning of October.

My small wild flower garden has a few blooms. My miniature hydrangeas are heavy with blossoms and the elephant ears have a long stalk edge with white bells.

Not Dead Yet

I am still alive. This year has begun as a very powerful time for change, lots and lots of change. I just wanted to make a quick note that all is well, I am flourishing and I WILL be visiting soon.

E is for Eyewitness

The Constitution Center, Philadelphia, PA

D is for Dogwood

Dancer of the Quill is playing a game and she's making me play because I said I would.

Today's letter is D.

I have included a Haiku because no one liked my last poem; D

Dogwood

Pink, green, Dogwood blooms.
Sunshine streaming in rivers,
Flowing over bark.

Because I Said So...

Quilly who lives in Hawaii and writes and shows gorgeous photos at Just Another Day in ...Paradise? has started an ABC project at her place where you post a picture each day for each letter of the alphabet. When I made a visit at her place and saw all of her beautiful pictures I mentioned I would participate and being the tyrant she is she came here looking for me to full fill my commitment. I should be committed. So to catch up, here are A, B and C. Go check out what Quilly has done and tell her not to boss me around - I'm sensitive.

C is for Chopper

B is for Brandon

A is for Airplane

The Pain Only Lasts a Minute

This is the first of many verse.
They will get worse
before I'm through.
What can I do?

While this one is awfully bad,
I know you're glad
to see me write.
But don't take fright,

for you won't hear me whine and cry,
I've said good bye
to my writer's block
so don't you mock.

- - - - -

Minute Poetry - The Minute Poem is rhyming verse form consisting of 12 lines of 60 syllables written in strict
iambic meter. The poem is formatted into 3 stanzas of 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4 syllables.
The rhyme scheme is as follows: aabb, ccdd, eeff

Becoming

"It's not what you are, but what you don't become that hurts." – Oscar Levant

Guilt and Sadness

I feel guilty posting because I have no time to read the blogs of those of you who comment here.

I am sad because I love to read your blogs and I have no time.

I am working on several short stories, trying to get some ready to submit to the WD contest which deadlines May 15th. I am also trying to re-write and edit my two NaNo stories and add to my Divine Death story.

If someone with lots of money wants to be my patron so I can quit my day job and write full time, email me.

Fire

Flames shot into the air, consuming the breathable oxygen within a twenty foot radius of the conflagration. Attendants placed more timber into the fire pit, bending low in an effort to avoid losing the hair on their hands and arms. The aged wood fed the roaring heat, increasing its hunger instead of satiating it.

The red, orange and purple blaze twisted and danced, until the energy formed a demon with finger tips that stretched to the stars. In unexpected ferocity, the fire fiend reached out and snatched an acolyte to its breast, consuming him in a shriek of agony and pain. The unwilling sacrifice melted and congealed, calming the soul of the inferno.

Update 4/10/08: This was inspired by my brother who can't get enough wood in the firepit to satisfy his boyish heart.

Thank you all for your wonderful comments. This is part of a short story which I will be submitting to the WD writing contest in May.

I will be adding an installment to Divine Death this weekend.

And I updated my reading list on the sidebar to the right there.

White Trash Weekend

Four generations of one family in an RV for the weekend in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey. Need I say more?

My father turned 77 on Sunday, April 6th. We will be taking him for a NASCAR weekend to Dover International Raceway end of May. Tickets for Sunday’s race at the Start/Finish line, row six: lots of beer and red meat. His favorite driver is Jeff Gordan, who drives car 24 not 45, like The Dip, yours truly, put on his Birthday card.

The limerick for my father:

It’s possible that Jeff could win
At the race where you haven’t yet been.
He could make your day
Special in a birthday way,
As long as his car doesn’t spin.

Shhh, Don't Tell Anyone You've Seen Me

Rabbit, Rabbit why are you so wet?
Froggy, Froggy, I lost a bet.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. - Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)

One of our salesmen called out of work today because his neighbor let twelve chickens go in his backyard and he must collect them. It may take awhile because he thinks the chickens are cockfighters from Camden and he's afraid of them.

Foolish April Horoscopes

Aquarius - January 21 to February 19 - Only a fool uses garlic salt with tequilla.

Pisces - February 20 to March 20 - Loyalty changes the fool.

Aries - March 21 to April 20 - Don't play the fool to be loved.

Taurus - April 21 to May 21 - Red leads a fool astray.

Gemini - May 22 to June 21 - Pull yourselves together to avoid being a fool.

Cancer - June 22 to July 22 - Even a fool leaves the house sometimes.

Leo - July 23 to August 23 - A king can be a fool.

Virgo - August 24 to September 23 - Friends won't fool you.

Libra - September 24 to October 23 - Fool and fanatic: two sides of the same coin.

Scorpio - October 24 to November 22 - A fool spites himself.

Sagittarius - November 23 to December 23 - Changing hats doesn't change the fool.

Capricorn - December 24 to January 20 - Lying to yourself makes you a fool.

Ooh La La Limerick

Happy Birthday Sis-In-law
cheeriest girl we ever saw
with pink Martini
the liquid genie
and a snappy Ooh La La.

Two gift tote bags, the outside of my sister-in-law's Birthdat Card and the limerick that is inside.

Rabbit, Rabbit and Astrology Monthly

OK, the Rabid Rabbit is not moving and I'm getting annoyed, so we'll move on for now, after saying Rabbit, Rabbit. As you can see, it's working now. Annoying, isn't it?

Astrology Monthly March 2008 - Wisdom from the Stars, channeled through the me.

The theme for March is Money, Money, Money and may it multiply like Rabbits, Rabbits.

Aquarius January 21 to February 19 – Appearances are not everything, especially when cash is a bit tight the way it is this month for you. Your presence alone is enough to impress, you don’t need to buy your status and respect. No really, I’m not kidding.

Pisces February 20 to March 20 – Just because people buy you expensive things doesn’t mean they really love you, so it is ok to sell the “gifts” you receive for some extra partying cash. Go have fun with your newly found solvency.

Aries March 21 to April 20 – As always, you have more than enough money for your needs which admittedly are few. Take some of that extra cash and throw a bash. You don’t have to talk to anyone; you can just watch. It’ll be fun.

Taurus April 21 to May 21 – Stop trying to budget for your friends. There is no one right way to spend money. Just don’t loan any of your hard earned cash to the one who buys frills instead of paying his bills.

Gemini May 22 to June 21 – Flip a coin. If it’s heads buy the big screen TV, if it’s tails go on a cruise. Oh, the heck with it, do both. You’re getting a windfall this month.

Cancer June 22 to July 22 – You do not need another set of sheets or a set of dishes just for Tuesdays. Save some of your money this month. Your nest egg is going to fall out of the tree and crack, so you’ll need that emergency cash.

Leo July 23 to August 23 – While you certainly should be paid just for being good looking, you may have to wait a bit before that happens. In the meantime, you need to work just like the rest of us lesser mortals.

Virgo August 24 to September 23 – Money still keeps coming your way for no apparent reason this month. You can spend some of it on good times with your many friends, but only after you’ve paid your credit cards from the last time you partied.

Libra September 24 to October 23 – Money…it’s the green stuff used to purchase all the lovely music, art and books you love so well. True, it’s beneath your notice most of the time, but every once in awhile it couldn’t hurt to know how much you have, you know, for more baubles.

Scorpio October 24 to November 22 – There is no need to punish yourself every time you spend a few dollars on yourself. You work hard. You have plenty of dough. You deserve something nice. Quit spending on your kids, they’ve got plenty already.

Sagittarius November 23 to December 23 – You, on the other hand, need to quit spending on yourself this month, especially when it comes to party hats and noise makers. Try having some fun without wearing a costume.

Capricorn December 24 to January 20 – You have gotten so much better at budgeting your money, that’s why you didn’t bounce any checks last month. Do throw caution to the March winds and destroy all of your good work. You’ll be happy you maintained control when April comes around.

Sky Watch Friday - Light At the End of the Day

For other Sky Watch Friday participants go to
Strolling Through Georgia.

For Shits and Giggles, visit Humor-Blogs dot com.

Limericks - Brotherly Love

Here are two versions of the limerick I wrote for my brother's birthday card. The second one is the version I used.

There once was a fellow named Jim
Who liked his glass filled to the brim
He drank all his beer
Saying bring more here
I don’t care if I break every limb.

* * * ~ ~ ~ * * *

There once was a fellow named Jim
Who liked his beer poured to the brim.
He really had to pee,
So he found a big tree
And dampened the topmost limb.

To find some truely funny stuff, visit HUMOR-BLOGS DOT COM

ABC Wednesday - F is for Fudge, Flowers, Fur and Finally Flakes

This is the Fudge cake I made for my brother's birthday.
These were my Valentine's Day Flowers.
This is The Codes with snow flakes on his fur.
And we Finally got snow.

Find other ABC Wednesday participants at Mrs. Nesbitt's Place.

Get a belly laugh at Humor-Blogs dot com.

Breathing Again

Thanks for your comments on my last post. I'm going to use it as part of a short story for the next Writers' Digest contest.

There were lots of new programs, benefits, employees and year end reporting that needed doing at work. I read eleven or twelve sexy novels (see my side bar), started The Cookie Diet two weeks ago and lost 20 pounds so far, had teeth fixed, so now I'm broke and I think I've found a way to reduce my depressive bouts a bit. All in all a productive three week period.

I think I'm ready to get back into the swing of things. I'll see you all on your sites.

Where You Been?

The moon moved into its full phase, releasing William’s inner demons. He grew still and looked out upon the world in general and his loved ones in particular, with hatred so powerful that he shut himself behind closed and bolted doors to prevent any damage that he might do in his possessed state.

Only at this time of the month did his vision contain a bright and choking red haze that enraged him. His blood stormed through his veins. He alternated between cold spells that burned him from the inside out and heat so severe he shook uncontrollably. During this time he could tear his flesh from his body or throw his carcass upon the jagged rocks below his bedroom window. Only the distant thought that normalcy would come again prevented him from committing suicide in a gruesome way.

He felt the disease as it began to infect his brain and changed his behavior. After years of searching himself, he could now tell when the chemical composition altered in his body. It crept upon him slowly and allowed him to warn those he cared about to hide from his other self; the self he wished no one ever had to see.

Astrology Monthly - YOUR LOVE LIFE

As predicted, I am posting this late. Remember, this is just for fun. I will be taking some time off (a week or two.) I need to have a long stern chat with my self. We seem to be out of sync and I'm not putting up with any shenanigans. (I have multiple personalities, too.)

In honor of Valentine’s Day, February 14th, this month’s astrological predictions will be about LOVE, sort of.

Aquarius January 21 to February 19 - One would think that the water bearer would have an abundance of love overflowing and pouring onto those nearest and dearest, but unfortunately, all you Aquarians are keeping your emotional juices stoppered in your amphora’s this month. Pop a cork, already.

Pisces February 20 to March 20 - You Piscesians are always chasing the tail in front of your face. Stop swimming in circles. The whirl pools you create in your life will only suck you into the abyss where you will be eaten by sea monsters. Is that what you want?

Aries March 21 to April 20 - Telling people what they want to hear may get you through the moment but in the long run will cause confusion. You'd be better off staying quiet until you know how you really feel. Oh, and farting is not a love song.

Taurus April 21 to May 21 - Snorting and bellowing will not get you any love this month. While forcing yourself on others may seem to work, it's not really passion but stalking. If you are looking for a jailhouse romance, follow a steady course.

Gemini May 22 to June 21 - While no romance with a partner could possibly compare to the love you have for yourself, it does make it easier when dancing at parties. Get a partner, even if it is only to make you look more normal.

Cancer June 22 to July 22 - Not everyone wants to stay home all of the time with only one person to look at day and night. At the very least, going out in public will give you a reason to get out of you PJ's and your partner will feel less like a prisoner of love.

Leo July 23 to August 23 - We all know you are the royalty of the zodiac, but even kings and queens must stay in touch with reality if they do not wish to be assassinated in their sleep or poisoned at the dinner table. Telling your partner how wonderful he/she is will not mean you are less so.

Virgo August 24 to September 23 - Your partner should be your friend, but you should occasionally treat him or her as more than a friend. Either stop treating your friends like lovers or stop treating your lover as your friends. There should be some difference between the two.

Libra September 24 to October 23 - It is easy to understand why you can't make up your mind. There are just so many wonderful and interesting people in the world from which to choose. Just keep an eye on the expiration dates of your favorite little friends.

Scorpio October 24 to November 22 - Being alone is easier than wondering if you can trust your partner, but you are too quick to think everyone an enemy. Once you've let loose, it can't be taken back. Control your stinger.

Sagittarius November 23 to December 23 - Prancing around in a cupid costume will only embarrass your partner. Those smiles you see on other people's faces are really grimaces. Sometimes the funny is only in your head.

Capricorn December 24 to January 20 - Quit hiding the person you love from the rest of the world. Either bring your romance out into the open or end it. You won't find a partner that is perfect for everyone you know, so pick one that you can stomach for more than 5 minutes together.

Yes, It's the Amazingly Bombastic Creativity Scavenger Hunt Game - List for February

First, I must say Rabbit, Rabbit, before I forget again. Thanks everyone for all of your lovely comments. I will respond before the weekend is over. I must make my brother's birthday cake tonight (He's really, really, really old, like 46 or something.) I'll post the card and prezzie I made him later, too. Tomorrow, we're all going to the horse races 'cause that's what he wants. I'll rest and play during the Super Bowl. Tomorrow is the first ever Astrology Monthly and it's all about LOVE. This week at work was hell on wheels. (That was a long first.)

Second, the Wieners of January's Amazingly Bombastic Creative Scavenger Hunt were

ACTONBELL,
TLP,
TOM & ICY
and
TSDUFF.

The competition was fast and furious and bombastically creative. I, of course, never finished my list. Go see all of their wonderful submissions. The links go right to the posts. You'll get a good idea what it's all about.

THE RULES ARE HERE.

Get Ready. Get Set. GO!

Amazon Antelope
Big Bozzo
Cozy Couch
Dead Dora
Elevated Engine
Flat Feet
Green Gills
Horny Heaven
Inky Ice
Jammed Joke
Kissing King
Long Lock
Married Mouse
Naked Newt
Old Oats
Popping Pimple
Quivering Quilt
Roving River
Smiling Smoke
Tall Tree
Useless Uniform
Voluptuous Vine
Winding Wind
Xeroxed Xylophone
Yellow Yam
Zero Zinnia


And get a chuckle at Humor-Blogs dot com.

Sky Watch Friday - Pink Morning Air

I tried to get a picture of Venus and Jupiter, but no luck. Here the pink morning from last Tuesday. Strolling for Georgia has other Sky Watchers.

Visit Humor-Blogs dot com for a laugh.

ABC Wednesday - B is for Bagged Blue Boat

I live on a street with three marinas. During the winter, one stores sailing yachts, one speed boats and the other these large cruisers, which are shrink wrapped until Summer begins.

To join ABC Wednesday and find others who play, visit the lovely Mrs. Nesbitt's Place.

To find something funny, visit Humor-Blogs dot com

Tarot Tuesday - Dana

Disclaimer: Tarot Tuesdays and Astrology Monthly are for entertainment purposes only. While it is true that I know everything (past, present and future,) I can not be relied upon to speak the truth. Please do not tell me I am playing with the Devil’s tool(s) and I am going to Hell. I know for a fact that G-d thinks I am the greatest joke he’s ever told and he’ll want me as a remembrance in Heaven. (Besides, I can’t go to Hell. There’s no ice cubes for my G & T’s.)

Tarot Tuesday
Each Tuesday I will do a Tarot reading for someone who has asked in the previous week’s Tarot comment section. If you want a reading, say so in the comments section. If more than one person asks, I will let Cody choose one person at random. Only one reading per month per person.

Astrology Monthly
On the first Saturday of each month, I will post everyone’s horoscope. Look for the first one on February 2nd, 2008. (I predict I may be a little late.)

Dana, the author of MURDER FOR HIRE: The Peruvian Pigeon asked for a tarot reading when she guest posted. And Dana announced the winners of her book give away.

My great-grandmother read regular playing cards for people in the small Austrian alpine village where she lived. She was especially favored by the community's resident herbalist. I learned to read twenty years ago because a friend wanted to learn but didn't want to go to the classes alone.

This tarot deck is called The Sacred Rose by artist Johanna Gargiulo-Sherman.

Dana, here's your reading (as always, you can click on the picture to enlarge):

Wands are fire and they represent the things you are passionate about; the things you must do. The Ten of Wands suggests that you have used all of your creative energy and only have burdens and responsibilities left from your last project. Accept your responsibilities, but be sure to ask for help where necessary or walk away when you seem to be getting nowhere. Ten of Wands tells you not to get burned out. You need to rekindle your creative spark.

The Hanged Man is the card of paradoxes and opposites. When in its normal position, hanging upside down, it says you are in the process of looking for inner and deep meaning and you are working towards profound breakthroughs in your internal life. Inverted, the card suggests you are fighting this learning process and do not want to give up something you know you need to release. For instance, to gain control you must stop struggling; to be strong you must be vulnerable. The solution to your current dilemma is simple but not easy and you are very reluctant to do what you know you need to do. You must make choices which will mean you must sacrifice some other choice, but it must be done. It doesn’t mean the other choice won’t come around again.

Knights are air and moving, change, the enthusiasm of youth. The Knight of Cups is in touch with his emotions and intuition and uses them to gain his desires. He reminds you to follow your dreams and passions but don’t go overboard. A day trip on the water is in your future.

Need a lift? Humor-Blogs dot com has loads of chuckles.

Daily Timed Writing - The Racetrack

I was a neophyte to the whole horse racing world. People of every shape and description filled the casino on Saturday afternoon. Old men with wrinkled dark faces and fat stogies lodge between their teeth rubbed elbows with husband and wife teams dressed in their Sunday best and young parents with children in tow. The variety of humans made an indelible impression upon me as I walked around the smoke filled building absorbing sounds and colors and smells.The caterwauling of a child unhappy with her location mixed with the hoarse cheers and curses of habitual betters. Beautiful horse flesh contrasted with the pale and thin bodies of people wasting themselves and their money.

I bet $5 on the number three horse in the fifth race at Philadelphia Park and I won. The horse's name: Magic Mischief. (Doesn't that sound cool?)

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50 Things I've Learned...One and Two

I'll be fifty years old this October. In honor of this momentous burden, between now and my birthday, I will attempt to come up with fifty useful things I've learned in my time slogging through this mire we call life.

Number One would be the abundant use of irony and sarcasm will get you through the day. I have mastered the high art of saying the words people want to hear while infusing them with my true feelings. It's not easy getting in trouble for your tone of voice (unless you're seven or seventeen) because people are never sure what you are saying when the words are right. Most people are not interested in reading between the lines.

The opposite is true, too. You can say some really silly things and people will only listen to the words and not the intent. For instance, in my first paragraph above, one would think I'm unhappy and downtrodden. I'm actually having quite a jolly time of it and life only keeps getting better. I have a hard time remembering how old I am, mostly because I act like a twelve year old most of the time.

One of the worst things I've ever learned is that you can insult someone to their face without fear of retribution if you say it with a pretty smile and a laugh. This was something I was taught by one of the best salesmen I've ever met.

Number Two would be the importance of learning new things and sharing them with people, even if they don't want to know what you've just learned. I have a Google Account, which is free, and has neat-o stuff to use. For instance, there is Reader which allows you to put in the web addresses of places you like to visit, then it notifies you when the sites are updated. It works for most websites and blogs.
Google also has documents which you can use in your account, with spreadsheets and a word processing area, so you can go on any computer anywhere and work on things. As you can see, the function to add links is really easy to use, as are all of the functions they offer. Adding links in Blogger is easy too. Just click on that thing that looks like a chain link, put in the address and give it a name. One of the things I don't want to learn is how to write code. I'll leave that for people who like acronyms.

I'm not selling things with all of these links, by the way. It's just that I learned that the more links you have the higher a rating you get with search engines, which makes you look more popular and I don't have any friends, so I pretend with my site meter hits.

Oh and I also learned about pinging and Pingoat, where you go and put your blog address or other website a few times a week to let all kinds of places know you updated your site (this is also free.) This is also going to help your popularity, like buying candy for your friends when you were nine.

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It's All About Me

Jadzia tagged me with this MeMe. Here’s the rule: Remove 1 question (any question) from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8-10 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. I don’t tag, so do this if you wish. And I changed more than one question.

1. At what age do you wish to marry?
I considered it at several ages, but never went through with it until I was 43. I figured there was no point if I’d just end up divorced, so I waited for someone I actually liked.

2. What color do you like most?
Um, green.

3. If you have the chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?
I have the time all of the time and I tell him he better hurry up and win the lottery so I can retire.

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Home.

5. Which part of you do you hate the most?
I really wish I had more tolerance.

6. When you encounter a sad moment, what would you do?
Cry, drink, cry in my drink, drink while I cry.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
Any of my family members.

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Buy 100 acres in upstate PA and write full time.

9. What’s your wish for the year ahead?
Finish a final draft of one novel and send it out to an agent and/or publisher.

10. How did you celebrate the New Year?
Slept until 11:55pm, woke when the firecrackers went off, called relatives, then went back to sleep at 12:15am. I know, I’m a party animal. We let the amateurs have New Year’s Eve.

11. Till now, what is the moment that you regret the most?
I really don’t have any. All moments brought me to where I am now.

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
Everybody who annoys me, so that pretty much covers everyone not me.

13. What is your ambition?
To be a self-supporting published author.

14. If you had one wish what would you wish for?
World peace.

15. Name the one body part your hubby or boyfriend tells you he adores:
Well, my husband says one thing and my boyfriend says another.

16. Do you like it when it rains?
I love it when it rains, but it has to be a real storm, especially with great big booming thunder and lots of wind. It just sort of enters into me and I feel very alive.

17. List two of your Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions.
Relax more and stay focused.

18. What do you need to do this year in order for you to be happier in life?
Publish a book.

19. What new thing have you learned recently?
I just learned about RSS. I signed onto Google Reader. I listed all of the blogs I visit and it notifies me when they update. I have saved so much time.

20. If money were no object, what 3 (materialistic) things would you really like to have?
A 1958 Cadillac Convertible
100 acres in upstate PA
One of the new MAC laptops

Yuck it up HERE.

New Feature - Tarot Tuesdays

I tried something new and it didn't work the way I wanted it to work.
The post below this one is actually a new post. I set it up Monday and saved it as a draft so that's why it has Monday's date. Won't do that again. (TOM and DAVID helped me figure it out. Thanks.)
I am starting a new feature called Tarot Tuesdays.
If you want a reading, read Dana's post below this one and leave a comment for Dana and then tell me you want a Tarot reading.
If more than one person asks, I'll choose one person randomly or maybe do them all. I can't decide.
Now, follow directions, kay?
Looking for some laughs?

MURDER FOR HIRE: The Peruvian Pigeon

Dana Fredsti (pictured here with her best friend and partner in crime, Maureen Anderson) is the author of MURDER FOR HIRE: The Peruvian Pigeon. Dana shares with us some insights into using your real life in one of your books.
















Dana says, "Write about what you know. It’s almost a cliché when it comes to writing advice. Don’t try to write about running off to join the circus if the closest you’ve ever been to one is seeing Cirque de Soleil on Pay-Per-View. It’s good, sound advice unless you’re one of those writers who does enough hard research and has the talent to realistically recreate all the necessary details of a place/time/situation he/she has never experienced. Or if you’re writing fantasy and have the imagination to create an entire world out of whole cloth. Barbara Hambly comes to mind as an example of a writer who can do both as demonstrated by her Benjamin January mysteries set in 1800’s New Orleans and seven equally engaging fantasy series, not to mention a slew of stand-alone novels.

You’ll also hear truth is stranger than fiction. You know, the type of stuff that shows up in News of the Weird or the Darwin Awards. Or things that piss a person off, like, “Woman is awarded great flipping wodges of cash for spilling hot coffee on herself while driving.” Incidents that really happen, but if you try putting them in a screenplay or novel, the inevitable reaction is, “Well, that would never happen!”

If you’ve read my bio either on my website or at Elysabeth’s Emerald City you’ll know the inspiration for MURDER FOR HIRE: The Peruvian Pigeon (henceforth referred to as MFH) was my experiences as co-writer/director/producer and actor in an actual theater group called, coincidentally, Murder for Hire, founded by myself and my best friend Maureen Anderson. Maureen was also my co-author on the first draft of MFH. We used our actors and clients as templates for the bulk of the other characters, creating a couple from scratch to fill in the gaps where needed. We wrote that draft in about a month, alternating chapters and POVs between “Connie” and “Daphne,” thinly disguised versions of the two of us.

It’s easy to write quickly when a: you pull incidents out of real life and b: you’re at the age and mentality where you believe everything that comes out of your pen (did I mention the first draft was written long-hand?) is pure gold. It’s not, however, necessarily conducive to a realistic story when the authors are so enamored with using quirks, incidents and you-had-to-be-there moments they won’t consider changing them or taking them out if they don’t serve the plotline and characters. Some of them DID work, mind you. Those that did made it into the 2nd through 6th and final draft. Those that didn’t (a reference to donuts making Daphne’s butt ache, for instance) were excised for the good of the book and of humanity. It only took five years or so for me to acquire the necessary objectivity to do so.

Another issue when writing the first draft was our inability to separate ourselves from the lead characters. I WAS Connie and Maureen WAS Daphne. When I say “thinly disguised” versions of ourselves, I’m talking rice paper thin. Rice paper that’s been gone over with a steamroller a few times. No separation of church and state here, folks! I have vivid memories of writing sessions where the conversation went much like this:

Me: “Dude, Connie would never say that. And she wouldn’t wear pink.”

Maureen: “Well, dude, Daphne would never wear jeans. I’m sorry. She just wouldn’t. And I don’t mean, Daphne doesn’t use margarine!”

Me: “Well, CONNIE wouldn’t let some actor get away with…”

And many more variations on those themes.

In our desire to use every actor we’d ever worked with on every show, the first draft had way too many characters. The reader would need a flow chart to keep track of them so in subsequent rewrites I took out some and combined others. Grant, originally Daphne’s boyfriend, now became Connie’s to add more tension and to clear the field for other things I wanted to add. Based on feedback from encouraging rejection letters I added red herrings and more active sleuthing. The percentage of fiction slowly overtook that of fact.

But the hardest thing I encountered when I went solo on MFH and rewrote the whole thing from my, I mean, CONNIE’S point of view, was taking a huge step back from all the characters based on real people (especially Connie) and figuring out what real life quirks worked for each one and discarding those that didn’t. Once I’d gotten the point where I could say Connie is a character. Connie is loosely based on me. She can do and say stupid things and I won’t feel bad the next day. Bad things can happen to her and it’s not me and really MEAN it, I was able to write a much more effective and (so I’ve been told) scary and disturbing climax. Although some of it still makes my mom cringe.

Bottom line, if you’re writing a book and want to base characters on people in your life (ESPECIALLY yourself), unless you’re writing an autobiography, get over yourself and get on with the story!"

* * * * * * * * * *
I hope you all enjoyed the glimpse Dana has given us into the life of a book. When you read MURDER FOR HIRE: The Peruvian Pigeon, Dana's comments will have even more meaning (and will make you laugh even more.)


Buy MURDER FOR HIRE: The Peruvian Pigeon

Here is Dana’s WEBSITE.

Go to each of the tour stops and leave a comment within three days of Dana’s posts and increase your chances at winning a free copy of Murder for Hire. Dana is giving away three copies of her book to people who comment. The winners are randomly chosen from all of the people who leave comments.

This is the tour schedule.

Sun, Jan 20^th - Elysabeth’s Emerald City

Mon, Jan 21^st - Blog Book Tours

Tue, Jan 22^nd - Kat’s Random Thoughts

Wed, Jan 23^rd - The Chrysalis Stage

Thu, Jan 24^th - Blaize Clement

Fri, Jan 25^th - Pointless Drivel

Sat, Jan 26^th - Redzilla Attacks!

Murder for Hire: The Peruvian Pigeon - Book Tour

Day 3 - Interview
Visit KatHere is the tour schedule, the stops and the agendas. You’ll notice a couple old friends on the list along with the new and interesting places to visit.

Date: Sun, Jan 20th
Blog: Elysabeth’s Emerald City
Topic: Excerpt from MFH and author bio

Date: Mon, Jan 21st
Blog: Blog Book Tours
Topic: An interview with questions by Dani Greer

Date: Tue, Jan 22nd
Blog: Kat’s Random Thoughts
Topic: Interview with Dana -
Screenplay and Novel Writing

Date: Wed, Jan 23rd
Blog: The Chrysalis Stage
Topic: Is it Real or Memorex –
The pluses and minuses of using aspects of real life in fiction writing

Date: Thu, Jan 24th
Blog: Blaize Clement
Topic: The Truth Behind Emerald Cove

Date: Fri, Jan 25th
Blog: Pointless Drivel
Topic: How the desire to kill resulted in a published novel

Date: Sat, Jan 26th
Blog: Redzilla Attacks!
Topic: To Be Announced

Go to each of the tour stops and leave a comment within three days of Dana’s posts and increase your chances at winning a free copy of Murder for Hire. Dana is giving away three copies of her book to people who comment. The winners are randomly chosen from all of the people who comment.

Here is her WEBSITE.

Read my review of Murder for Hire at Nessa’s Reading Room.

Sky Watch Friday

Dot is the host and creator of Sky Watch Friday! and she posts beautiful and creative photos on her blog Strolling Through Georgia. Go there and see the list of all of the people who participant along with their links. You can easily join the group yourself.

You can see another of my photos HERE.

ICBAS,TUTMA *

*I Couldn’t Be A Scientologist, They Use Too Many Acronyms.

I hope this stays up long enough for you to see. This is an indoctrination video featuring Tom Cruise who is flat out creepy. They must have done this during the writers strike. Being a “clear” certainly hasn’t helped Tom Cruise’s communication skills any. How is he even a little bit attractive? I suppose if you like maniacal laughter, he’s your man.

Witching Hour

Night is a magical place full of the possibility of the unknown. The unbelievable scenarios of dreams take place in the bruise of a dark sky freckled with the lights from unknown sources; the beams of inhabited planets and populated stars where princesses dance with salamanders wearing crowns. The king brandishes his sword in defense of the downtrodden while knights rescue dragons from pirates trying to steal eggs the size of boulders and the color of emeralds.

The breakfast table is laden with spaghetti and bowls of vanilla ice cream, cheddar cheese and bacon, and platters of King Crab legs, shelled and drenched in melted butter. A confetti concoction of salsa dribbles over crisp corn chips and starched white linen napkins.

Amazing Grace played on bagpipes is followed by Brown Eyed Girl, It Wasn’t Me and Ravel’s Boléro, the music rising and falling with orchestral deliberation. Clouds of intimidation, hammers of percussion, and waves of melody expand in the lungs like flapping butterfly wings, their movement fanning a storm thousands of miles away.

The skin is tattooed with goose bumps from a cold breeze, smoothed over by the warm touch of an affectionate hand. Fingernails on a blackboard mimic the nails of an inamorata on the bare back of her paramour, raking hard soil into furrows of fertile ground for fantasy.

Patchouli mixes with unwashed bodies. Rue, bay, frankincense, cinnamon and sage burn away ghosts and call the angels afraid to show themselves to uninspired minds. Rosemary and lavender clean away the stench of doubt and beckon lovers to embrace.

Danger and possibility, imagination and death, flight and stagnation, neon colors and nihilism, fear and knowledge, all walk hand in hand through the night.

A Boy and His Balls

My husband is in the kitchen pounding his meat. We’re having hamburgers for dinner. Was it wrong of me to start off this way? You must forgive me. My mouth hurts. I have a bad tooth which kept me awake all night and I’m tired. I have a tendency to be bad when I’m tired. Poor impulse control.

I love double entendres. Almost everything I think or say has more than one meaning. I find saying things with underlining risqué meanings in a very offhand way entertaining. Most people don’t even pick up on it but every once in a while I’ll look at someone and they’ll have a stupid lopsided grin and I’ll know they’ve understood. People I click with play the same game.

I particularly love to do this in large groups and office meetings when I become bored out of my gourd. I feel bad sometimes because I really can get carried away and I make others laugh and misbehave, too. I do it so subtly that I never get in trouble. I get tingly just thinking about it.

I put up a slide show of Longwood Gardens on my Photograph Site. It used to be a DuPont estate and is now a horticultural wonder. I went there on New Year’s Eve with my Mommy. My Journal Site has some short, short, story snippets that come from random phrase five minute timed writing. If you have been reading Divine Death there have been a couple of additions and things have gotten a bit hot.

I commented at Nessa’s Reading Room and updated my reading list. And finally, to see some of the things I made in December have a look at my Craft Site.

Now I am so worn out from exposing myself to you, that I must take a nap.