I have been tagged by Swampwitch at Anecdotes, Antidotes and Anodes… Go look at her Avatar, which is great and read her witty posts, which are witty (I am the master of words.)
Here's the meme:
1. Explain what ended your last relationship. I said don’t do it. I was very clear. She didn’t listen and did it anyway. End of story and the relationship.
2. When was the last time you shaved? I shaved 10 minutes off of my morning routine by not shaving my pits.
3. What were you doing this morning at 8:00 a.m.? Finding another reason not to get up from my laptop and sort more bins.
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Telling my husband to quit telling me to get up and sort more bins like I promised I would.
5. Are you good at math? Yes. I add to my bottomless pit of useless information daily. I am minus any common sense. I love to divide and conquer. And I multiply like a rabbit.
6. Tell about your prom night. I skipped it. I have been allergic to large parties since childhood.
7. Do you have any famous ancestors? On my father’s side, we are descended from the illegitimate child of a German Count and a milkmaid. On my mother’s side, we come from a confusion of cave dwellers rich in White Gold.
8. Have you had to take a loan out for school? No. I’ve always managed to get someone else’s to pay for my infinite knowledge.
9. Do you know the words to the song on your My Space profile? My daughter said I’m not allowed to trawl for young boys on MySpace.
10. What is the last thing you received in the mail? Bills. Lots and lots of duck bills and chicken lips and what looked surprisingly like Jimmy Durante’s nose.
11. How many beverages have you had today? Two. Water and milk.
12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machine? I like to leave long drawn out messages that go into great detail but only get to the point until the very end. Or I just hang up.
13. Who did you lose your Concert virginity to? Tom Waits Chain smoking and beer guzzling and a gravelly voice.
14. Do you draw your name in the sand at the beach? No, I don’t own the beach, silly.
15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had? Cavities filled by Army dentists as a child because they didn’t use Novocain.
16. What is out your back door? Sand, leaves, squirrels, oh and the bar.
17. What are your plans for Friday night? This Friday has already passed. I went to bed at nine. I know how to party.
18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair? While I’m there. Afterwards, it’s just itchy.
19. Have you ever received one of the big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn? Yes, but I only liked the caramel flavor corn. I use the tin to store all of my buttons. I have a lot of buttons.
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium? Yes, the one on Venus. It has a really cool view of the Earth.
21. Do you re-use towels after you shower? We use paper towels, so it is a bit difficult.
22. Name some things you are excited about. Our closing on our old house looks like it will actually happen this time on Monday. NaNoWriMo starts Wednesday and I’m taking PTB’s advice and just starting. I’m getting a new step stool as we speak.
23. What is your favorite flavor of Jell-O? Blue.
24. Describe your keychain. It has butterflies all over it. See?
25. Where do you keep your change? Somewhere in the back of my mind.
26. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group? Define large.
27. What kind of winter coat do you own? Another point of contention between my mother and myself. She believes a person should have many coats. I, on the other hand, have one coat that is light and an electric blue color. It’s mostly for blocking the wind. Under it I add layers to achieve the perfect body temperature.
28. What was the weather like on your graduation day? Both were sunny and bright, forecasting my illustrious future.
29. Do you sleep with the door open or closed? I start with it open, to keep the air flowing freely (I may be slightly claustrophobic) but must get up during the night to reopen it as my husband prefers it closed. I should divorce him, the rotten rat.
30. When was the last time you lied? Five minutes ago when I answered question 21.
And I tag anyone who wants to do this list or anyone who is fresh out of fresh ideas.
I truly enjoyed reading this meme. I like them when others do them, but find it too much 0f a trial to think up witty answers to be willing to do them myself. Obviously, Nessa, you don't have that problem.
ReplyDeleteQuilly: Thanks. I don't usually do them either, but I am avoiding housework today.
ReplyDeleteOh, ouch, ouch, military dentists of every kind are sadists. Sick, twisted SOBs. Good answers, a welcome post housework laugh!
ReplyDeleteYay, I love reading these when they are funny, and this was one, well done!
ReplyDeleteWhen you made that comment about coats I realized something, I do the same thing with coats that I do with purses. I have several, but I usually take the minimalist approach. Polar fleece pull over rather than the black wool coat, or the brown wool coat, or the leather jacket, or the down jacket, or...
Kat: I'd like a maid.
ReplyDeleteLogo: Thanks, the inspiration of procrastination.
You are quick witted. I hope no one ever asks me to do that. I'd just look at that list and go "riiight." and that would be the end of it, but you just fired 'em right off. I got some good chuckles out of reading it. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteBTW, C Jo is working on a site for the Bill of Rights. We are actually going to have to pay $15/month to have the level of statistical sophistication to do it right, but it will be worth it to leave it there indefinitely and collect up "signatures" and comments and be able to show the results graphically. Thanks for inspiring us to do it!
Tom: Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to see what happens. It would be nice to have something positive to participate in.
Anyone tired of all of the sniping, big and small, go look what Tom is starting.
These are great! I love reading your posts lol!
ReplyDeleteLOL, these are great answers. Thanks for the chuckles. You're one quick-witted girl! And don't let Tom fool you, he could snap out funny answers in a heartbeat!
ReplyDeleteYour ancestry and first conert were interesting in a good way. I lost my concert cherry to Guns 'n' Roses.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe you were actually up at 8am on a Saturday.
ReplyDeleteJamie: Thanks and your new house is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteJackie: I'm blushing. And I think Tom is a pretty smart cookie (I'm eating Oreos right now.)
Grunty: Guns 'n' Roses is more like a three way.
Jay: Dare I disgust you by letting you know I was up at 5:30am? I'm sick, I know.
Wow! Enjoyed that and could also read it unlike some dweebs who use too small a font on their tags. Wonder who that might be? Good job. Thanks for being a good sport and answering the questions. Don't know who came up with them...
ReplyDeleteSwampwitch: I was into it that day because I was avoiding housework.
ReplyDelete<;D
Just came back to read one more time...had to giggle again about the paper towel re-use...do you lie all the time, or just part of the time?
ReplyDeleteSwampwitch: I don't lie, I tell stories.
ReplyDelete