I woke at 4:14 this morning. My eyes popped open and I couldn’t get back to sleep. Since my alarm rings at 4:30 anyway, I figured I’d just get up. What’s the first thing I WANT to do? Go online, of course. What’s the very first thing I really do when I wake up (after I go wee-wee, that is)? I start drinking Diet Coke to help my brain start functioning. After that, I decided I’d be responsible and do my chores first, then I could surf all I want without guilt (at least until it was time for work.)
I emptied the dishwasher. I filled the dirty dishes into the dishwasher (I luvs my dishwasher: I never had one before.) I put the wet clothes in the dryer. I gave the dog fresh water. I made my husband his lunch (if I don’t pack his lunchbox, he won’t eat and then he gets cranky. Plus, I have to keep him alive to pay the mortgage. See how responsible I am.)
My husband left for work at 5:30. I now had one whole hour to play without interruption.
I started using Firefox last night. It really is much better the Explorer, but I have to get used to it. I imported all of my favorite bookmarks. The list is getting really long. I have met the most fascinating people by visiting their websites.
I love to read the posts and the comments are always such fun. I add everyone I read to my list and then go through it top to bottom, reading them all. And because I like to get comments, I always leave one. Not always witty or interesting, but just something so they know I was there. All of this takes bucket loads of time. I watched the clock as I read. I wanted to finish the list before I left.
But before my hour was up, I started doing the pee-pee dance. I sat wiggling in my seat, trying to keep reading. My eyes began to swim, my teeth clenched, I bounced up and down. The dog thought I was nuts. And I guess I was, because I nearly wet my pants before I finally gave up and shut everything down.
You know, you ARE allowed to go potty in the middle of surfing, really, you can, it's ok.
ReplyDeleteI hate waking up in the middle of the night.
HATE IT
Nessa you are the sweetest, cutest, funniest girl...I wish I could give you a great big hug after that!
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Logo: You would think I was two years old.
ReplyDeleteJenn: *me blushing*
Love the title!
ReplyDeleteWhen I read what you do when you first get up, I thought I read wow how, whopeee, yell for joy, glad to be alive - then I realised you meant you went to have a pee ... lol!
Q: You silly.
ReplyDeleteMultiple existences?
ReplyDeleteMultiple blogs certainly, I never know which one to go lookinf for the flapping wings in.
.... how do you get up that early???- i'm normally up till then!!!
ReplyDeletei must say, im always glad to get your comments, thank you :)
firefox is great, i loves the tabs feature, and its faster on images
have you played with the cusom toolbars and skins yet? :P
My reactions to your post:
ReplyDeleteFell into a deep sympathy sleep for you for waking up at four-thirty in the a m.
Confused as to why one would choose Diet Coke over coffee. Assumed you were a different kind of crazy than me.
Converted to Pastafarianism because accepting the notion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster is easier than accepting someone doing chores at five in the morning.
Growled at your husband for being the kind of guy who doesn't eat lunch if his wife doesn't pack it.
Retracted growl, as there is no reason for me to be angry about it if your not.
Amazed that there are still people not using Firefox.
Smiled with fond memories of my first Firefox experiences: the smooth operation, the themes and extensions, the tabbed browsing.
Checked out the list of blogs on your sidebar. Raised eyebrows at length.
Growled about my blog being last.
Rretracted growl, as people often remember the last thing they read. Also, it's sort of like in movies when a really good actor's name comes last in the credits. Like 'and, Part-Time Buddha'.
Laughed at the image of you squirming in your seat while reading blogs.
Considered taking the laptop into the bathroom as I then had to pee.
Reconsidered on grounds of being gross and potentially dangerous.
Flushed.
Nominated you for Most-Dedicated-Blogger-of-the-Year.
I do that too!! Put off peeing til I'm done browsing. Thing is, I'm never really done browsing, so it's more of a "let's see how many more blogs I can read before I REALLY have to go". :) hahaha. Oh yea, dishwashers are AWESOME. I don't have one now :( But my last 2 apts had one and it was heaven!!!
ReplyDeleteBoys are silly, they would die without us ;)
Q: I require diversity.
ReplyDeletececcg: It's when I used to go to bed, too. At the risk of upsetting PTB: I get up that early because it is when my husband gts up and if I'm still in bed, he is too comfortable to get out. Plus, once I'm awake, I'm awake. The only excuse I have for not using Firefox sooner, is that I was too lazy to learn something new. Now, I'm upset with myself for waiting so long to use something so much bettert han what I had. i used the tabs this morning. it was great. so much faster. I'll check out everything else as time goes by.
PTB: Reactions to your comments:
Thanks.
To put it bluntly, something in coffee turns me into a mega-bitch, with no ability to curb my acid tongue.
Your Flying Spagetti Monster is my idol.
On the face of it, I'd be anoyed with a man so incapable of taking care of himself too, but the truth of the matter is that he cooks dinner every night. I feel I'm getting the better part of the deal. (You didn't real think I did it just so he'd eat lunch, did you?)
Yes, I have been behind the times. I occasionally fight change. But Firefox is so much better than IE, I could kick myself.
My list is so long because I am so grateful that anyone would read what I write that I want to reciprocate. Some of these peopel haven't posted in many weeks. Plus, I hate housekeeping.
The order does not reflect my preference. I love you, man!(Said with the beer cmmercial voice.)
I considered taking the laptop in the potty room, too, but I'm really clumsy.
Thanks. For teh flush and nomination.
Jadzia: That's the prob. I'm never done until I am forced to be done by some outside pressure. Dishwasher rule. Yes, boys are silly, but we love them.
It's not my Flying Spaghetti Monster. Google it, or check it in Wikipedia, and read all about it. It's great.
ReplyDeleteMy computer is in my bedroom, right next to the door of my master bath. So, I can quickly run to pee and then come right back to reading blogs. And life is good. ;-)
ReplyDelete4:30??? Woman, you are crazy! haha
PTB: I have been searching for a new religion and I think I found it. Have you read the book, I mean gospel?
ReplyDeleteDCMM: Yes, I know. I am re-evaluating my life. I may go back to being a night person.
LOL...you are a morning person, i see. me, not so much. I like how you extrapolated the making lunch for my husband chore to paying the mortgage. LOL.
ReplyDeletehaha, i do the pp dance because i dont want to pack up all my stuff (vs leaving out where it can be stolen) and then lose my table. actually, i gotta go now, argh...
ReplyDeleteGuggs: Yes, we must keep each other healthy to pay for our empire. And I am not a natural morning person, I was forced into it (protesting) when my daughter was born.
ReplyDeleteFuryouhin: Sorry, didn't mean to make you go (he, he.)
You need to get a laptop - this way you can surf, bloghop and write emails all from the comfort of your toilet.
ReplyDeleteIt's so cute that your husband doesn't eat unless you've made him a lunchbox. Why is that? No food available where he works, or he just needs a taste of Nessa at lunchtime? :-p
And I LOVE Firefox - now I can have as many homepages as I like! (I can't tell you what they are, though.)
Glad you liked the picture.
ReplyDeleteFinding ways to please everyone and everybody, is one of the human limitations. One cannot be all things to all people.
So Nessa what's this New Religion like - Tantric, Mantric, Cosmic ...?
Jay: I have a laptop, but I'm clumsy, so it might end up in the tub.
ReplyDeleteHow'd you know?
You are a tease.
Q: The new religion is based on Carbs.
What the absence of
ReplyDeleteYou know people still looking for 'silver bullets' but as with medicine pharmacy is coming to realise no One drug works for all therefore they design custom drugs. Partly because it's good for business and sales, but mainly because of the realisation that we are each individual + unique, and what works for one doesn't always work for another.
Add to that the Spirit which actually drives the whole thing, absent from any medical trials, and voila! depending on the spirit of the person, all the other physical (or mental) burdens weights and heavyness are relative.
Nessa, I could have written your column -- well, sans the husband part. I, too, love Firefox and hate to have my blog surfing interrupted by such trivial things as bladders, telephones, people knocking on the door.
ReplyDeleteI fear what is going to happen when August comes and school starts. Will I be able to return to the classroom? What is really funny is that during the school year when I have to go three to four hours at a stretch wihiout a break from my students I bemoan not being able to go to the bathroom whenever I wish, and now -- here in my own home -- I still wait until my bladder is ready to burst!
Q: No, loads of: the diety is the Fyng Spagetti Monster. Go here to see more (the heads up came from PTB) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster
ReplyDeleteGlaciermeow: Thanks. Before I became a blog addict, I got up early to read before my daughter woke up.
Quilly: It is horrible that we must be interrupted by such mundane things as the things you mentioned. Today, I had to stop for work. Don't you all feel bad for me?
i finally have something to put on those forms! - i just gotta remember how to spell pastafarien ^__^ :P
ReplyDeletewww.myspace.com/chocoholic_girl_on_pmt
This post is now a window into your past. Your pee-pee dance is preserved for posterity.
ReplyDeleteThe word verifier is "reves," which means "dreams" in French.