I am mad. I am mad at myself. I am mad because I can't manage to follow a plan for one lousy week. I am mad because I am so out of shape, that a little manual labor wore me out so much that I couldn’t follow my plan. I am mad because I did not write all last week on Storytime, so I didn’t have a post ready for Saturday. I am mad because my focus is poor, my determination lax, and my drive over, my zip done du da-ed.
And before all of you lovely sympathetic people start telling me not to be too hard on myself, I say don’t. I deserve it. I am always finding ways to put off what I should be doing. I have a million excuses to give myself to rationalize doing it another day.
I am not hard enough on myself. I plan, I make notes, I have a million and one schedules, to do lists and post it notes. I ignore them when it is convenient for me. I spend all of my time planning, researching, and thinking. All excuses for not doing what I tell myself I want to do.
If I say I want to write, why then do I not write? Why do I allow the laundry and plants get in my way? My husband thinks I am talking to my trans-sexual boyfriend. Why do I allow that to distract me? (Well, that is pretty amusing.) Now, he’s giving my ear a Wet Willy. See how easily I’m distracted? I have no discipline.
sounds like my life i have a hard time getting motivated as well
ReplyDeletemeh
bah
ReplyDeletei should be in uni doing painting, or atleast printmaking, but instead im here, watching my boyfriend do HIS uni work (at uni)over a webcam feed [he has to build a set to recreate a film still; he chose Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Fool :P ]
and i have 3-4 weeks left, in which time i have atleast 8 projects to do / hand in ^^
PROCRASTINATION RULES
woo ^^
bah, yes, im afraid i have too agree with you, it is your fault, but youre not the only one. :)
Dear: Thinking about doing things is so much easier than actually doing them.
ReplyDeletececcg: Procrastination does rule. And at least I'm right about something, thanks ; )
Adults with ADD unite and...oooh!! Look!! Something shiny!!! *sound of me running away*
ReplyDeleteHey why not try the carrot instead of the stick? Believe me, all this self loathing gets you nowhere - mires you in deeper, in fact.
ReplyDeleteSo, promise yourself a small treat (like a new gel pen, or a box of chocolate or a new art project) anything to get your juices flowing, the next time you do a small task you set out to.
Babysteps, my dear...
Jege: Come back. *waving new toy in the air*
ReplyDeleteJenn: Sometimes I forget that babysteps will get me far. Thanks for the reminder. Now, what prezzie do I want?
Hmmmm that's a good one. What prezzie do you want?????????
ReplyDeleteOoooo
ReplyDeleteshiney
:D :D ^_^"
Jenn: I think I'm going to get me a new desk/writing buddy. When I get him, I'll take a picture.
ReplyDeletececcg: I'll make sure he has something shiney, too.